I should be thanking you. All of you. You make me a happy blagger.

You see, when you stumble upon my blag by keyword searching through Google WordPress kicks back the term you used. Then I read them and sometimes nurture deep, romantic, cyber attachments to you. Except when I’m mocking you mercilessly.

Sometimes I notice disturbing trends… like when for three weeks people were finding my page by searching for derivatives of “how to BLOW SKIRTS UPP” or “video of skirts blown up.” I know you are just after a panty-shot but I was wondering if you could rephrase the search to make it a little less violent. How about, perhaps, “I am a voyeur, skirts in wind” or “I think this doesn’t count as pornographic, women surprised by wind.” In either case, I’m sure you didn’t find what you were looking for here. I don’t have a video or a how-to or, even, a how-to-video. But my friends Scout and Susannah learned to swing dance on youtube so you might look into that.

Sometimes I notice you’re trying to figure out what my blag title means by searching such inconspicuous phrases as “what does femmephane mean.” It’s a good question and I go into that in my FAQ post which you might want to Google while you’re at it.

Best of all are those of you who come to my blag in really innocent ways that leave me with new completely unprecedented questions. Yesterday it was “santa cruz county topless ordinace.” Leading me to wonder 1. what is the Santa Cruz topless ordinance and what rumors might this person be trying get to the bottom of and 2. how deep into the search must one person browse in order to find my blag (a: 4 pages) and 3. Google has an auto-spelling correct function that gives you the option of linking to the right spelling of the word— why go 4 pages into the search instead of correcting it right away?

Runners recent up include: fake cat allergies, psychosomatic cat allergies, bloc 11, babyfeelings1, and anxiety symptoms.*

11.16.2007 Update new search term: PUT HER * THE STURRIPS.  11.18.2008: cure for the middle child syndrome

*Perceived correlations are, I swear, coincidental.