I feel like I should apologize. Keeping track of my blog stats has taught me a lesson about the cervix. Some must be easier to see than others. Even though my LadyWife took the time to make sure I had seen my own (and probably would have offered me prime speculum access if I hadn’t) I realize not everyone has a gay boy friend who knows so much about fisting and the figure-8.

Maybe it’s not always so pink! Maybe it’s obscured. I don’t know what’s going on. Clearly I am not a medical professional. (I was really hoping I would get to say that on the blag soon.) But People are worried about not finding it. They are so worried that they are skimming pages and pages of search results before finding my blog. Scary. My blog: where I belittle the doctor that couldn’t find a friend’s cervix as a total idiot. I would hate to think that at the end of a tiring, degrading, post-gynaecologic exam websearch, women are finding my disparaging remarks. And either my one friend is still so nervous and upset about it that she googles the topic incessantly or new people are, in fact, finding my disparaging remarks. Other people are taking responsibility for the way people find their blogs and  I feel I should join in.

That very same friend and her normative cervix DID send me a lovely Valentine’s Day card. I was holding out on her (see: winter holidays, valentine’s day, president’s weekend) because I wanted to wait until I went to Europe so that I could send her postcards To:DG From:MySpecialUnderweaar (like Amelie without the polaroids?). 

 Last summer we went to Sports Basement and I bought some technology-heavy underwear with a slogan about how you could wear them in 16 countries in three weeks.  Okay so my curiosity got the best of me and I mostly bought them to read the copy on the inside of the packaging. Alas! There was nothing there. No more exotic stories about traveling underpants! Just that first vague promise and some elaborate care instructions: Wash with detergent or soap in sink, Rinse thoroughly, Lay flat on a towel and then roll towel, Put the towel on the ground and stomp on it, Unroll towel and hang underwear to dry. 

 I’ve never been to 16 countries in three weeks but I have this sneaking suspicion that if you’re taking the kind of trip where you only pack one pair of underwear, you might also be taking the kind of trip where you wouldn’t want to put your towel on the ground and stomp on it. Especially if you’re going to have to hang up the damn underwear to dry anyway.

I will NOT aplogize for not having as many pictures of Nude Women Underwater as you have asked for. I have almost no control about the number of Nude Women on my blag.

Advertisements