J muses about what her department learned when a certain faculty member did something cruel and livelihood threatening to another faculty member.

We always knew he was something in sheep’s clothes. But we didn’t know what.

He could have been a sheep in sheep’s clothes or a wolf or something else.

But it turned out he was a wolf in sheep’s clothes.

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I retell the story about the harrowing beast attack a few weeks ago

I had put on Erin’s judo outfit and was pretending it was a smoking jacket when her fiance, Oleg, decided to show me some judo chokes. So all of a sudden he flipped me over and every time I would get close to passing out then he would move me to some other choke. I could barely speak and I was having a hard time communicating with him because he is this enormous Russian guy and there is often a language barrier of some kind between us. He didn’t really understand the severity of my protestations. And then— he moved into another choke and I saw their really mean cat hissing at me and then he viciously attacked my face. I got all scratched up.

So basically you were attacked by the Master and Margarita?

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A fB msg that anyone else might have objected to:

did i tell you about the new boytoy? just how i like ’em – tall, lean and wan-looking. the only downside is having to brief everyone before he shows up that, despite appearances, this one is actually not the same and conversations should not pick up where they left off.

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