I don’t know what to tell you from here. Certainly there is nothing that would not betray someone’s confidence. Confidence like certainty of one’s self. Confidence like a secret. I write in double negatives even though I know I won’t be able to understand them myself when I reread the sentence. There can be so little space for editing when I have this little patience with–
N. Over and over I dream about racing to the airport. I find out I am to leave and have to pack as though I will never return. My wrists begin to ache because of the repetitive motion.
D. Repetitive motion leaves my wrists aching.
L. I am invited to contribute to half a dozen things and I do want to. A list. An outline: anxiety, fluidity, anxious fluidity. But the mere thought leaves me shuddering and drooling.
I. I stalked you and found you. It wasn’t as hard as you said it would be. You and your ostentatious face and your ugly self. You and your thin, wealthy nose, you and your–
F. I am going to Colorado for Thanksgiving. It breaks all these years to say that I am going “home” for Thanksgiving. But I do. And I am.
B. I’m sorry about disappearing. It was an emergency, I promise. But it’s not one that Kant would have vetted.
I. Stop it. You’re killing me. Sorry. You’re actually not killing me. But something is and it’s moving faster–
M. You shouldn’t have gone or you should have told her sooner because she could have handled it. Now everyone is left thinking they could have helped you. Nevermind, I guess there wasn’t a right decision.