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Ken came by for a few hours. It’s such a relief to pick up, always, where we left off. I am happy to be going and am trying to mourn this place in appropriate ways.
Graduation: I am glad I went, despite the fact that it meant roughly four hours of tears. It’s okay. After five years, all the right feelings are going with all the right events. It is such a blessing to be able to be sad when life is sad.
At work, I told Geoff and Megan that I have to go because everyone leaves this place. Every two or four years there is an exodus and I have to start over. I have beloved friends across the nation who I can only talk to when we’re both in the market for nostalgia. Okay, I am always, in the market for nostalgia. Still. So I am going somewhere that people still leave– but leave a little less frequently. Geoff said, “don’t be the thing you hate.”
Maybe Ken will come by in New York and there will be, at least, that intermittent continuity. In Iowa (!!!), I told his girlfriend a story about the time he found a banana in a urinal. I acted like I had been there, too. He asked me why I do that. “It’s a better story,” when I’m in it. I told him! “It’s the same, either way,” he said.
I’m sad to go. Because of my new ability to have the right feelings, I feel confident that my sadness must reflect that this is a sad time. I have loved it here and with these treetops, it’s hard to imagine I’ll stay away forever.
Mine, obviously, might have been later but– the everyone is going and I always knew I had a dearfew.